When Life Shocks You!

Sometimes life slaps us around doesn't it? The well made plans we had of a perfect life may take a long detour to the edge of nowhere. We are left hanging by our fingernails on the edge of a steep cliff! Or so it seems. Has that happened to you? My extended battle with fibromyalgia has been one I have fought long and hard, like a determined bullfighter against an enraged bull. But despite all my efforts of 17 plus years - the illness has prevailed ... so far! One glorious day, God's promise to me will be fulfilled. "But for you, Nushi, who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like a calf let out to pasture." Malachi 4:2

After 12 years of the illness, as if the debilitating fatigue and pain were not bad enough, a new nasty symptom of fibro reared it's head. Anxiety! Anyone who has battled anxiety will know that life with this giant is no picnic. Anxiety is a ferocious beast that takes over. It strips you of your joy and peace. As with pain and fatigue, I refused to take it lying down and fought hard against it, but what a tenacious grip it has - like a pit bull with his sharp teeth in my thigh! Ouch!

So that was the reason I decided that enough was enough! I had to break free of the shackles of fibro (all three nasties) to find the abundant life Jesus promises us. Was there someone who would pray for me? As if in answer - a friend said she went for prayer recently with good results. I pricked up my ears. I'd made a little money earlier by selling some jewellery - so when I discovered that there was a payment for the ministry - I thought God had provided for it, even before I needed it.

I immediately booked two sessions with the prayer team, in great excitement. I asked my family and friends to agree with me in prayer. Two friends had been helped and another friend who knew of them said their prayers would encourage me. Three wise friends warned me against going, but I foolishly ignored them. I wish I'd listened! My first session of prayer was hopeful. Most of the prayers were rather weird, but I wasn't unduly alarmed. I was disappointed though that my fibro symptoms were a whole lot worse after the session. 

It was the second session of prayer that shocked me to the core. The truth was that every word spoken about me (supposedly from God Himself) was a word from the enemy, not from God. Harsh, judgmental, untrue! The lady in the team said I had caused my illness by cursing myself in anger. She told me that all my suffering was self-inflicted. That I needed to be grateful for what I had. My blog readers may know me well enough by now to know that I've made gratitude an important part of my life. She was wrong! On every count! 

They were rude and disrespectful and didn't allow me to speak. Compassion, the hallmark of Jesus' healing ministry was sadly lacking. They reprimanded me for my struggling emotions as if I was a disobedient child. When I said "I'm doing my best", the lady shouted, as if from God: 'Your best is not good enough! Your best is not good enough!" 

Would God say that to anyone? Of course not!

I believe I've heard God's voice during the 48 years I have walked with Him. His voice is never harsh. It's gentle, reassuring, loving and kind. Always. A few years ago, I went to a Christian prayer counsellor for help. When I left her, I felt I had met with Jesus Himself  - what a gift that was! This experience was the opposite - I felt I'd encountered an evil presence! I realised too late, that desperation, not God, had been the driving force in going to them. I'd shared my deepest fears with this prayer team - and had been condemned for it. I've discovered since, that there are many other casualties like me from this ministry. If only I'd listened to the godly counsel I'd received! 

I am still shocked by it all. But you know what - you - my family and friends who prayed for me at the time - you covered me in prayer. Thank you so very much! I was safe through your prayers and kept from any harm their negative words might have inflicted on me. For some time now, I've felt God's nudge to share my battle with anxiety with the world. And so I obey Him by writing this blog, even if like a toddler being taken kicking and screaming to do something he didn't want to do! Baring my heart to the world is not easy. 

But I hope it might help someone?

Depression and anxiety are rampant in the world today. Mental health battles are real. The truth is that those who struggle with anxiety and depression are far from weak. They are strong, extra strong, for these kind of battles require much courage. To be blamed for our struggles is like blaming someone with a broken leg for not being able to walk. I am writing today to be a voice for others like me who are facing similar battles. Be assured that you are not alone, dear friend. I hear you! God does too.

Here's an interesting aside! There were three sets of three! Three friends encouraged me to go for prayer. Three friends warned me against it. Three people were on that team. And then ... there's another THREE I can count on. The Godhead - God the three in One. The Father. Son and Holy Spirit. They, thankfully have the last word. Always.

So today, I can testify with joy and certainty that despite my battles with ill health, God is good. So very good. I love my life. My family and friends have come up trumps and I thank them so much for their faithful prayers. I am deeply grateful to my beloved husband and son who love me so well in spite of myself. I know that the sufferings of the present world do not compare to the wonder and joy that lies ahead for us in eternity. And so I rejoice. I rejoice in God and His goodness, His love and His ways. I rejoice in you - all of you who make up my world. Thank you for being a part of it and for the way you bless me.

If you are struggling in any way - let me know how can I can pray for you.

Together, we can make it, you and I.

Let's rest in Him. Let's look to Him. He is Jesus, our Healer!

God is our refuge and strength. A very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion 

and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort 

those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Cor 1:3-4

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18